lindsey.

For the past 5 Saturdays, I have been teaching English to a small group of 2nd and 3rd graders. The class is held at one of my friends/co-workers homes. When I agreed to teach the class, she was so excited, because I filled a huge need for her. I had no idea it would become such a huge blessing to me.
After each class, Mrs. T always offers me fresh fruit to take home - mangoes, oranges, etc. Once she took me to the market and bought me whatever fruit I needed. It’s a plus because she knows how to pick out perfectly ripe mangoes :) She lives close by, so I sometime see her on my weekly market runs. It’s so fun having a friend in my neighborhood.
Fruit is great, but the students are my favorite part. They are so precious and eager to learn. My favorite times, though, are those spent outside the classroom. I often walk home with two students - Quan and Nhi, and even though we can’t have a real conversation, I always enjoy our walks . Last weekend, the whole class over to swim, along with Mrs. T. As we walked to the pool, one of the girls grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let go. It was such a sweet moment, and a reminder that small actions communicate love. When we got to the pool, they were SO excited. I loved watching them all laugh and play with such joy on their faces.
Even though I have to wake up early, and prepare an extra lesson, I love teaching this class. My students have fun, and so do I. It’s brings joy to my heart, and happiness to my weekend. I am so thankful to Him for this gift, and trust He will continue to pour His love on these little ones.

Yesterday was one of those days that will stay with me.  Not because something really grand happened, and it doesn’t involve an insane story that causes people to stare with their mouths open.  It was just…perfect.  A day that reminded me of how much i enjoy Vietnam.

I left Hanoi around 10 AM Saturday morning to visit friends in Thai Nguyen, a city about 60 miles (or 2 1/2 hours by bus) from Hanoi. It’s not a big city, and certainly not westernized (Whenever I visit, I’m always asked to bring lots of cheese!).  However, while it may be lacking in dairy products, it does have clean air, lots of green space, and a slow pace of life.  I cherish all of my visits here.

Yesterday was comprised of things I have done before, and places I have seen before.  After a slow morning of listening to a sermon and drinking coffee, I went to my friend’s home and we prepared some picnic salads.  One of my friends can’t have gluten so it was full of yummy vegetables and quinoa.  We experimented  with what we had on hand, and the results were phenomenal.  We packed everything up, grabbed the badminton rackets and birdies, and headed off on motorbikes to a nearby lake, driving past tea fields, rice paddies, and water buffaloes along the way.  We spread out the mat on a brick platform overlooking the lake.  We ate, observed some ridiculous things, had our picture “discretely” taken by strangers, soaked up the sunshine and laughed with each other. The rest of the day we lazily spent inside, watching documentaries and laughing even more.

The perfection of yesterday lies in how normal it was.  It was slow, and it didn’t involve a lot of planning.  Despite how normal it felt, it was a day to remember.  In 2 months, I will be leaving Vietnam.  I will be leaving this country, with beautiful spaces.  I will be leaving these people, who have become so dear to me.  In all of the difficult moments I have experienced living in this country, these are the memories that stick out to me, the ones that reminded me that the beauty of life is in the simple moments with people you love.  It reminded me that every day, there is joy, and by His grace I can choose to see it and embrace it.  When I’m no longer here, when I no longer can hop on a bus and visit these friends, there is STILL joy, there is STILL something to be grateful for.  There are more perfect days waiting for me in the future, if I only choose to see what’s there.   

i have this dream.  this dream where i am this brilliant writer and i say things that are profound and brilliant and in a way that isn’t cheesy.  i want to write about my work here in a way that connects you to it, in a way where you read it and want to sell everything you have and come to vietnam.  i guess what i’m saying is that i want something i do to motivate you to come here.  yikes.   i mean…if reading something motivated you, then after 2 days when things got real (you know what i mean), you’d be on the next plane home. 

apart from the selfish desires to be recognized, i want to have a story to tell, because i want more people to come here, and if no one knows about it, no one will come.  but there’s a problem.

i can’t see the story.

right now, life feels mundane.  my students are crazy because their twelve.  life is this routine of wake up, eat, teach, and go to sleep.  nothing about this life seems worth writing about at the moment.  i’m struggling to see the stories running through my daily life. i know they are there, but i’m not sure where they are.  so for now, this will have to do.  i’m not dead, i’m just waiting to see the story.  

Perhaps it’s because I’ve been watching too much British television (Downton Abbey, anyone?) but I really enjoy the phrase “happy accident”.  It conjures up some sort of delightful thing that happened by chance, something that you weren’t expecting, and that perhaps could have been seen as a problem.  Today, for instance, I had one of those moments while trying to use up lots of leftover bits and pieces in my fridge and turn them into something edible.  i wound up with the most wonderful apple cake (just for fun, I’ll put the recipe below so maybe you can also enjoy it - if I can make this cake in Vietnam, certainly those of you with less “outdoor” kitchens can make it, too!)

Sometimes life feels like this.  I sometimes wonder how I got to where I am, and it all feels like one sort of wonderful accident.  I don’t mean to say that the Lord isn’t sovereign over all things.  Actually, I think realizing that life has all sorts of wonderful things in it that I could not have possibly designed on my own makes me all the more aware of His hand in it all.   I am sometimes amazed at the way He provides in such specific ways, and sometimes gives us things we didn’t even know we needed.  He truly does know how to give good gifts to His children!

Apple Yogurt Cake with a Cinnamon-Sugar Streak

(adapted from www.thekitchn.com) 

1 3/4 cup plain yogurt
2/3 cup oil/melted butter
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
3-4 apples
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Pinch freshly ground nutmeg

2 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon, divided 

1/2 cup brown sugar

 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

Heat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9x13-inch baking pan with baking spray or olive oil.

Whisk together the yogurt, oil, sugar, eggs, and vanilla in a large bowl. Peel and core the apples, and chop into chunks about 1/2-inch across. You should end up with 3 1/2 to 4 cups of apples. Stir the chopped apple into the liquid ingredients.

Add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon right into the liquids and stir just until no lumps remain. In a small separate bowl, mix the remaining 2 teaspoons cinnamon with the brown sugar and butter.

Pour half of the batter into the cake pan. Sprinkle the batter with half of the cinnamon-brown sugar mixture, dropping it on the batter in small lumps. Spread the rest of the batter over top, and sprinkle with the remaining cinnamon-brown sugar.

Bake for 45 to 55 minutes, covering with foil at the end if the top is browning. When a tester comes out clean, transfer the cake to a cooling rack and let it cool for at least 15 minutes before cutting. 

as a product of my culture, especially of my own country’s education system, i have heard this line too many times to count.  as we grow up and begin to “discover who we are”, this is what we are told - you can be anything you set your mind to, you can do anything if you try hard enough.

this is a lie.  a big, fat, ridiculous lie.

we were all created to do something fantastic.  each human being born was designed with specific gifts and talents.  this lie that we can be whoever we want to be doesn’t create a lot of hard-working talented people, but a lot of over-worked, mediocre people.  we spend so much time trying to do things we were never meant to do, feeling disappointed that we can’t be better at something, all the while stifling and squashing the things we are actually good at.  we don’t celebrate who we are because we are too busy trying to be someone we aren’t.  i think this is why we have so many lost 20-somethings.  so many people who are almost 30 yet still don’t know what they want to do, because they realized that what they pursued for years isn’t what they are actually good at. 

i’ll give you an example.  i wish that i was an excellent photographer. i have tried really hard to be good at taking pictures.  for years. and i’d always feel so disappointed. i’ve come to the realization lately that i am not a good photographer.  there’s nothing wrong with me.  i’m not a failure because i can’t take good pictures.  its simply not something i was designed to do.  there are plenty of other things i’m good at: cooking, crocheting, singing.  those are the things that i want to celebrate, instead of bemoaning the fact that i can’t take good pictures.

don’t be whatever you want to be.  be who you are.  

Tonight is Christmas Eve.  The streets are packed tonight with Santa’s.  Numerous vendors are selling giant balloons shaped like Kris Kringle.  As my students told me, Santa in Vietnam is very thin and rides a bike (obviously.  why would he need a sleigh here?), so the streets also contain many men riding around in red suits and fake beards.  It is also one of the busiest nights of the year, not because people are going to church, but because Christmas Eve is a very romantic holiday. 

You’d think in my second year, it wouldn’t be so strange to celebrate in Vietnam, but there is always something that sticks out, because I am in such a minority here.  The traditions we hold, the things we do…being here makes you think of things differently.  This year, for the first time ever, I have been celebrating Advent, doing a study with my team that has been so poignant and good for my soul.  I went to a Christmas Eve candlelight service.  I sang lots of wonderful Christmas carols. I made LOTS of ginger cookies, and I am making new traditions, like Christmas brunch.  In this context, each year brings something new, and things we “always do” change, or we don’t do them at all.  It makes it difficult to celebrate the cultural part of Christmas.  The only thing that doesn’t change between America and Vietnam is the Incarnation, and that is what I must cling to. 

Truly He taught us to love one another, 
His law is love and His gospel is peace. 
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. 
And in his name all oppression shall cease. 

man, life has been full the past month.  we celebrated halloween with our english club, visited a team about 50 miles north of hanoi (in a city called thai nguyen), and then i went to beijing for a weekend with other team leaders from china.  it has been so full, but so good.  for me, it was particularly refreshing to be with good friends.  i also was able to go to ikea and starbucks.  it was almost as good as being in america :)  this week was also teacher’s day, so we were forced politely asked to be in a singing competition.  my two teammates don’t particularly enjoy singing, but they were good team players.  despite the fact that it was, in my opinion, pretty terrible, we won 500,000d - about $25!  We treated ourselves to a nice mexican meal with our prize money, laughing that we would win a prize for our performance.  Vietnam is always full of surprises!

this upcoming thursday is thanksgiving (as I’m sure you all know).  We had planned to have thanksgiving with our language tutor, huyen.  she accepted our invitation, but was told that she has a business trip this thursday!  however, she mentioned how excited she was to eat a traditional american meal, so we offered to move the meal to the following thursday, which made her so happy.  i am so thankful for this opportunity - while thanksgiving is full of traditions for Americans, it is also rooted in expressing gratitude.  I look forward to being able to share about the Father’s blessings as we enjoy our meal together.  this is something we have really been asking for as a team, and it is a sweet reminder that he hears our hearts cries, and he loves these people!

Below are some pictures from the past few weeks - enjoy!